


Soothing Hearts

by Kaetien SaDiablo (Shadowcat), random_chick



Category: Black Jewels - Anne Bishop
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-28
Updated: 2017-01-28
Packaged: 2018-09-20 12:03:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,545
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9490202
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shadowcat/pseuds/Kaetien%20SaDiablo, https://archiveofourown.org/users/random_chick/pseuds/random_chick
Summary: Karla sat up in the rather large bed, propped up against some pillows as she read a book. Jaenelle was curled up at her side, head touching Karla's hip. Karla couldn't help but smile, looking down at Jaenelle and running her hand over the other young woman's hair with a feather-light touch.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Co-written in 2012

Karla sat up in the rather large bed, propped up against some pillows as she read a book. Jaenelle was curled up at her side, head touching Karla's hip. Karla couldn't help but smile, looking down at Jaenelle and running her hand over the other young woman's hair with a feather-light touch.

The Kindred had been good to the both of them, making sure they were both taken care of. Oh, yes, Kaelas and Ladvarian had chased Karla off at times so Jaenelle could heal in peace, but they had done it with their version of a gentle touch and a smile. But even so, they had cared for Karla as well. They were there for her in those times when she cried at what she perceived as the sheer futility of her attempting to help Jaenelle heal. They were there for her when she cried over the bruises she caused on Jaenelle's flesh. They were there when she cried for the woman she loved.

Jaenelle let out a soft sigh, but didn't move from where she was resting. She was comfortable and safe and she didn't feel like she was going through this all alone. Yes, the Kindred had been wonderful, but she had also needed this. She had needed Karla. The fact that she had come to her when she needed her had done a great deal in beginning to heal her heart.

The sigh made Karla smile. "Kiss kiss, darling," she said, combing her fingers carefully through Jaenelle's hair. The other girl was healing well, but Karla still had a tendency to be overly cautious with her.

"You're still here," Jaenelle said happily, nuzzling her lightly. "I was worried that I would wake up and you'd be gone."

"Well, never fear." Karla smiled again. "I'm still here. I've been here for weeks and I'll be here for even more weeks. As long as you want me here."

"Can I say I never want you to leave my side?"

"Only if you want to squabble with the puppy and the kitten and all the other Kindred who mean well but won't quite get that you need me here."

"I do _need_ you here, Karla," Jaenelle said softly. "I cannot do this without you."

"Well, then, it's a good thing you don't have to do this without me, isn't it?" Light words to pass over the awkward dance of emotions they'd been doing the past several weeks.

Jaenelle nodded her head. She was also aware that they had been doing an intricate dance. "Can't do all of this without my heart," she finally ventured hesitantly.

"It still surprises me sometimes that you call me your heart," Karla admitted. "Not that I don't believe you. I very much do. It's just... surprising." Poor words, but they were all she could come up with.

"Why does it surprise you so much?" Jaenelle asked, looking up at her.

"Because I thought Daemon was your heart." Karla was proud of herself for being able to say it without appearing upset. _Appearing_ being the key word.

"Daemon is... Daemon. But Karla... you're the one that came for me. You're the one that searched me out. You're the one I kept hoping to hear from as I was in the Abysss."

"I am?" That surprised Karla as well. She knew she was important to Jaenelle, deeply important, but she hadn't realized the meaning extended that much.

"You are."

"Why?" The question was out before Karla could word it properly. "I-I mean... oh, I don't know _what_ I mean," she said in a tone thoroughly unlike the normally spunky Glacian queen.

Jaenelle was silent as she thought about Karla's question.

"Because you're _Karla_. You've always been a part of my life and when I disappeared for two years, you had the courage to seek out Papa and find out what had happened to me. You never just accepted that I may have been gone. You demanded to know where I was and how you could help me or get me back."

"One of my best friends in the entire _world_ was gone. Of course I wasn't going to just sit back and accept it," Karla said. But there'd been more to it, more than she'd wanted to admit. Even at that age, she'd had some inkling of her feelings for Jaenelle. Oh, she hadn't quite _understood_ them, but she'd known they were there. But like all teenage girls just becoming teenage girls, she'd ignored them instead of trying to figure them out.

"You cared about me enough to risk a great deal to find me, Karla," Jaenelle said softly. "I think... I think there have been times you would have followed me into the Abyss to keep an eye on me if you could have. Even though you could not, you have always been here waiting for me when I come back." She swallowed. "And you've never been afraid of me or what I can do or what I am."

"To be afraid of what you can do or what you are is to be afraid of _you_ ," Karla said as though it were the simplest thing in the world. "And nothing could make me afraid of you. Cautious, perhaps, but never afraid."

"I think that's part of what drew me to you first. You never hesitated to show me that you care about me. Not about Witch. Not about a Queen. But about me. Jaenelle." She gave her a faint smile. "With you, I've always been Jaenelle first and foremost, and the rest of the stuff or who I am comes afterwards."

"That's exactly how it should be," Karla said, her fingers once more combing through Jaenelle's hair. "Anybody who does it differently is a fool and an idiot."

"They sometimes pay too much attention to the power I wield and not enough attention to the person I am behind the power." Jaenelle shrugged, trying to act as if she didn't care about that.

"Then they don't realize that though the power has shaped who you are, it does not define you." Karla's fingers stilled. "I love you for who you are, Jaenelle. Every little bit of who you are."

Jaenelle met her eyes. "And yet you are surprised that you are my heart and the one voice I sought to hear when I was deep in the Abyss?"

"Well, maybe it's not so much surprised as it is..." Karla struggled for a word. "Saddened. Because it's not the way I _want_ to be your heart." Oh, Karla. Sweet, dense little Karla.

Jaenelle felt saddened by this, and tried not to close herself inward at the feeling of rejection. "You don't want my heart?"

"No! I-I mean, yes. I _do_ want your heart," Karla said quickly. "I just don't think I want your heart in the same way you want me to be your heart." She sighed and looked away for a moment, trying to find the right words, sensing that it was important she say this correctly. "I want your heart, yes. And I want to be your heart. But I want those... I want those in a more intimate way. A, um, romantic way."

"But, Karla, you already are." Because Jaenelle was not adept at not being literal.

"You don't get it." But Karla was frowning thoughtfully. "I want to be your lover." And if she were prone to blushing, she'd be doing it right then.

Jaenelle looked at her with dark eyes. "Are you... are you sure, Karla?" She swallowed. "I... I would like that but... you've seen what has happened to me. What if I am never the same as I was?"

"Then we'll deal with that," Karla said. "It'll hurt, yes. Honestly, it'll hurt. But we'll handle it together."

"I don't want to be a disappointment, Karla. We don't know what exactly has happened to me or if I will ever be _me_ again. I love you, and I do want you, but I also don't want you to be held back from being with someone..." She dropped her eyes. "... whole."

"Jaenelle, listen to me." Karla tapped Jaenelle's chin to get her to look up again. "I want to be with you. Whether you're whole or not whole, I want to be with _you_. Not anybody else. Never anybody else."

Jaenelle looked up at Karla and then the ghost of a smile crossed her face. "I want to be with you, Karla."

"Then..." Karla smiled warmly. "Then we're together."

Jaenelle wrapped her arms around Karla's waist and nuzzled her from where she was laying... her head in her lap now. "Yes, we're together."

"As it should be." Karla's voice was soft, soothing as she ran a hand over Jaenelle's hair. "As it should be."

Jaenelle made a soft sound of happiness. "I'm very glad you want to be with me as much as I want to be with you."

"How could I not?" Karla smiled tenderly. "And don't give me that rot about you not being whole. I know you for who and what you really are -- a beautiful, silly, absolutely amazing young woman."

"I'm not beautiful," Jaenelle said with a grin. "I'm interesting-looking. Or, as Kaelas says, I'm who I am. That is all."


End file.
